they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize