he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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