Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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