I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
