Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize