Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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