i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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