Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize