Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
