he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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