capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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