JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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