Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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