we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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