Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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