I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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