I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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