there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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