thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize