my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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