Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
smell my finger.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
