you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
His hands were made for my vagina.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
