So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
