did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
