so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
