So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
