I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
