3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
