It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize