did you get engaged???
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
