We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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