Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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