why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
