I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize