I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
