I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
