What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
