he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
