will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
