I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
