Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
only if we run a train.
done.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
