we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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