saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize