did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
