O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
