you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
