This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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