YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
