WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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