literally had 100 drinks last night.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
