I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize