i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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