..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
