How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
