Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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