i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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