You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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