Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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