to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
be right there i have to get my cape
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
