just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
