You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We're too hungover to prance.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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