dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Bring me that man meat
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize