who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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