i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
