you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize