went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
