So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
