Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
