I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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