It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
