My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize