yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
