Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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