Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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