I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Randomize
