I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
