He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
