True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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